Caden's Hymn

the sacrifice has happened, and i have lost it now. despite the warning signs, i continued. oh, to have it all but to not see it. any outsider would see the sharpness of the blades of grass. they would smell the air and gleam, realizing they'd made it. what more could one ask for? but, alas, i continued. poured more and more dirt on myself until i was with the rotting corpses and ancient bones. and then any attempt to dig out was impossible. so i remain. i know it has not changed. the evidence is obvious. i don't attempt to dig anymore. i sit and wait and try to enjoy it here. i believe thats all one can do when they put themselves here. is breaking out possible? is it simply different for me? i have some time to figure it out. until then it follows me. i feel it in my bones, my fiber. no running from what is innately you. no magic rescue from above. the only thing that matters now is acceptance. there is no growth, no change without acceptance. that is the only hope that allows me to not become the same as my peers. a small, incandescent light flickering in the caverns. i stoke the flames but the lack of air makes it impossible to be a grand fire. and, i know how it can consume me. i have the writing on the walls but no willpower to follow. is this life?